Conversation: how can I stay in creation mode while continuing to manifest new possibilities during the Fall Season, with Winter fast approaching.

GOING WITH THE FLOW OF LIFE

I look around me and see the trees, the foliage, the flowers, my own herb garden in its last hurrah of late summer before it goes to seed.  It’s been such a productive year: new clients, new projects, wonderful sunrises and sunsets full of vibrant delight.  Seeing those around me thriving and expanded.

I felt an overwhelming sense of grief this morning, like the last five mornings, as I sat in prayer on my balcony, 18 stories above the ground below, .  Crying, I asked,  “Mother-Father-Creator, What is this grief I am so present to this morning? ” 

I waited in silence, sitting and watching my kingdom before me…  the rivers in front, the City of Wilmington at my left, New Jersey straight ahead, the placement of the Sun on the East horizon --  observing that they seemed changed somehow.  

And  then I heard, “It’s Fall, my Beloved, embrace the energy of Fall.”

Fall is a time for letting go, for completion, for assessing, reviewing, evaluating all the outcomes and all the failures… my tarragon didn’t flourish in my herb garden, neither did cucumbers.  My outreach for new clients was successful.  My husband continues  to be exceedingly productive, as are all of my active clients.  As I continue in my review of my strengths, weaknesses, my wins and losses, I am readying to collect the seeds for planting next Spring.

The metaphor  of a garden seems appropriate as I look at my own well being too.  This year I have been treated for multiple varieties of fungus, parasites and toxic chemicals affecting my immune system and general well being. They presented as dark moles and lesions on my torso, front and back, and my thighs, shortness of breath, visual instability, and overwhelming fatigue after expending energy needed for my clients and work. 

I have weathered the worst of the “storms” the maladies have wrecked on my bodies and being.  I am aware that as I rest and allow the completion of “killing” or “extinguishing” the invaders,  I am releasing my ‘dead leaves.’  And my immune system is more able to fend off future invaders.

It seems the human body is a master at mini-deaths:  cells surrendering and new cells emerging all the time. Without death, there can be no new life.  Life is cyclical and wondrous. 

REAPING THE BENEFITS, CONTINUING TO WALK MY PATH

I reap my healthy cells, my healthy thoughts  as my seeds for my future growth and development. I take in the glory of Fall. I see the potential of Winter.  I see the hope of Spring; and in conclusion, I give gratitude for the unbridled production and growth I enjoyed this year.  Maybe now I can more thoroughly enjoy the evidence of Fall – the magnificent yellows, reds, purples, oranges and browns -- each death an opportunity for future life as the tree rests and renews until Springtime.

Thank you, Brava Mother Nature, for the reminders that we are each a part of you, our Universe and beyond.

Dr. Irene focuses her consulting  on  "eliminating barriers/patterns to manifesting the Soul's purpose: bringing Love where it is missing and Light where there is darkness, thus allowing you to be divine in your everyday experiences and challenges!"   

Dr. Irene is accepting new clients. Please message her for a conversation for possibility.  text 267-456-4156

Being Divine in our Everyday Experiences and Challenges

Beloveds

I was asked by one of my clients to guide a group of her women friends in a conversation for being divine.  It is such a joy for me.  Each woman brings her own take on manifesting herself as Goddess -- as her Soul’s purpose -- igniting her curiosity and allowing it to take shape. 

I've invited us to explore who we are. I said, "We aren’t who I thought we were:  a body/mind.  We are a Soul, an eternal energy, lent to a Human Body and its Mind for a lifetime of the human experience. The Soul is pure Love, here to expand the human experience."

Together we tease out what it means to co-mingle the human beings' aspects of “being-doing-having” and the Soul’s purpose to bring light where there is darkness -- to bring love where love isn’t.  Each of us is choosing different avenues to maneuver our divine Universal Being, our Soul/Goddess, in our everyday experiences and challenges.

“Who is the Goddess?” asked Laura M this week.  What a great question and one of many I have dwelt in since 1969 when my friend Marilyn C called to say her husband, pilot Roy, had been killed when his helicopter carrying wounded soldiers was shot down in Vietnam.  We were only 22 !   I cried, whaled really…knowing my own husband was in harm's way,  Who am I?  What is my life for? Could this be all there is?

Is That All There Is, sung by Peggy Lee, 1969   

Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is my friends
Then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball

Who or what was the inner voice that captured my heart and was beckoning me from time to time. When stillness prevailed and my mind stood quiet, I heard Her.  The Goddess was awakening and my connection to Spirit was forming shape.

Now 45 years later,  I listen for the voice within me …God, Spirit, Allah, Jesus, Shekinah… whomever She is called, whispering her love for me, ushering in new ideas and readying me for new opportunities. Pure love enveloping me and inviting me to play full out in bringing love and light, abundance, ease and joy into life… into this world too long suffering in lack, struggle and pain.

… more to come.

Surrendering to Love, 1

after my visit to Albany, NY July 6, 7, 2012, I write

In November, 2008, I arrived in Crestone, CO, with my left knee in horrific pain, to participate in a six day program, Journey of Profound Healing (JOPH), created and led by my mentor, Her Holiness Sai Maa Lakshmi Devi.  Sai Maa facilitated each of us (20 women) to reclaim our freedom from slavery to our personal stories of oppression, victimhood, illness, depression, of lifelong issues. One-by-one Maa focused on each of us as we worked through our emotional, physical, mental and/or spiritual scars and fears. For me it was a week of rediscovering the vibration of love that heals—by the end I painlessly climbed stairs and sat cross legged.  But not before I got face to face with following in my mother's footsteps... surgically removing seven organs from my body from a place of fear.  I got aware and gave voice to the atrocities Western medicine and I had done to the body called Irene, the home of my Soul.   I reclaimed living my life from love. I told Maa I surrendered to God, to Love. I became my healer.  It truly was profound.

After 6 days, I left the Journey pain-free, full of the bliss of forgiveness and unconditional love filling every morsel of my being. I assumed that I was done looking at illness and disease as a deterrent to realizing my purpose for this life.
I was wrong.  Being complete is in the moment, being free and surrendering to love is a moment-to-moment awareness, day-to-day.  I have spent these last 3-1/2 years cleansing my physical, mental and emotional bodies of toxicity and recuperating my financial well-being. 

Finally, this past weekend I was again with my beloved Sai Maa and 750 others as we addressed Chaos to Clarity.  Again I was reminded: practice, practice, practice like an Olympic athlete to maintain my awareness of living in the vibration of divine mother for myself and others.  It depends first on my being the beneficiary of daily practices.  I claim every day -- I am a child of God, I am loved.  I love fully.

I am a beginner in surrendering to love. At age 65, I am still learning.  I am aware, I choose, I decide, I act for the good of  my higher self. I am grateful for the reminder that life is a precious gift of realizations and awareness of loving myself and others.  Thank you to all who shared your questions and concerns, you gave voice to my silent questions and concerns. 
Om JaI Jai Sai Maa.

The God in me beholds the God in you, Namaste!

The God in me beholds the God in you, Namaste. The God in me beholds the God in you, Namaste... the lyrics of a song are swimming in my head, calling me to be divine and noticing the divine in all beings who come my way today, each day.  I am blessed, I have the time to sit silently, in the privacy of a prayer chair with my laptop capturing my thoughts and dreams.  Reminding me of what I have been taught by my teachers and guides, both human and heavenly beings. .

I am, as I strive to remember the blessing of unity, living today as one with Source, remembering to connect with my gang of masters and teachers.  I remember to remember to access the wisdom and knowledge thereof.  I remember, I do not walk alone.

I am sitting here so excited that next week I will be in the presence of Her Holiness Sai Maa Lakshmi Devi in Albany NY.  Maa is a fully realized divine human being,. Since 2001, I have watched as Maa has evolved as a master teacher, being one with Source and making her capacity for unconditional loving available to all who come to be with her.  I will deepen my remembering myself as divine.  Remembering that I too have the divine fully available to me.  I am divine.  I will remember I AM choosing to live an awake and aware life, mindful of the multidimensional being I am.  I am so excited just sitting here knowing  I shall dance and sing with my Maa and my soul sisters and brothers.

I again claim my birthright to be this heavenly being in my personalized earthsuit mastering this human experience -- being my joy in the face of life's trials and tribulations, its sorrows, the partnerships, the losses, the beauty and the infinite love and glory that surrounds me. Namaste.

LAYING DAD TO REST

This past Sunday my husband, Steve, & I & a dozen or so family & close friends participated in a graveside memorial for our beloved dad, Artie Goldberg, 88, who passed on April 17th after living a fulfilled and complete life. He'd married [60 years] the girl of his dreams, Beatrice, and had a son, Stephen, whom he treasured & enjoyed. And he loved me .   

In January, when he learned he had stage 4 prostate cancer that had spread through his body he moved through the stages of dying with great courage.  As his minister [he gave me this title while I was still in Seminary] I knew we'd be stepping on untouched ground during each phase of the process.  It soon became a learning adventure that we spoke about freely during his last three months. He would ask me why something was the way it was and I'd respond, 'Dad, your body is dying, it doesn't have much more time here in this form and your Soul is working its release, like a birthing back to Spirit.'  He'd look deeply into my eyes and just nodded his head.  Did he believe me?  Over time he considered what I said more closely & he accepted his essence would move out & on. Hallelueia . 

Artie faced the remaining days sometimes with sadness at leaving us & yet there was excitement too that there might be more to come.  And he loved eating, relishing each bite.  Often having more than one dessert or eating pancakes for dinner!  He said his goodbyes to everyone a number of times before he left, always honing his short list of key relationships to call.  His deep love for people was his strongest asset and the love returned was enormous.  He passed knowing he loved fully & was loved fully by his caregivers, his friends & his children/grand child and family. His body died peacefully & his Soul soared clearly aware & awake with his love for life, others & Spirit. He completed living.


In creating the two memorial services I did, I focused on his distinct relationship groups...the first was two days following his passing & his fellow residents, staff and hospice team [Care Alternatives] at Sunrise of Newtown Square were still reeling having lost their historian and male leader. Steve made a memory collage of Artie's life and we laughed and cried as we shared his life.  The hospice Rabbi sang a song and recited Kaddish.  I knew Dad's Soul was able to return home in peace.

The second service was more intimate, just family and close friends. Since Dad was so proud of his participation in World War II as a Tech Sergeant in the 567th Regime & 'til his death was in contact with his cronies from the war, I invited the Army's National Honor Guard to attend the service for what's called the Flag Ceremony [I arranged it through the Funeral Director, Joseph Levine, thanks to a tip from our dear friend Ed Adams].  It was so precious.  One of the two Sergeants placed the flag on Dad's cremains and walked it to the family plot at Montefiore cemetery where over 60,000 bodies lay buried. He then stood next to me before the gathering. Then the other Sergeant standing about 30 feet away began playing Taps on his bugle. I lost it, tears uncontrollably flowing down my face.  I stood before the crowd crying not just for Artie who was my dad for most of my adult life, but for my own dad, Sidney Blanken, a veteran of WWII who passed when I was in my early twenties with a new baby girl and a fragile marriage, and my first husband, Gary Singer, a veteran of the Vietnam War who passed last summer.  I looked over at my beloved Steve holding hands with my beloved daughter, Dina Singer, as they too cried. Then both Sergeants performed the Flag Ceremony ending with presenting the triangle  flag with its blue field of white stars to Steve.  Then both soldiers saluted, turned & marched down the hill.

It was the most solemn prayer I could have given...I was moved beyond words.   The silence was precious.   After a bit of breathing, my senses returned to normal.  As the officiant of the memorial, all eyes were upon me.  I spoke the traditional words of burial.  And then the stories of Dad's life.  Then the fun began for me as I facilitated the group discussion of how Artie had impacted each of their lives.  Happy and alive ourselves, we moved the conversation to a favorite restaurant of the Goldberg clan, Country Club Diner  where we sat for 2 more hours sharing our lives with each other, just loving.   A loved one's body dies and we celebrate their moving on.  The truth is we move on too, sometimes slowly.  Sometimes with tears, sometimes with great excitement.  Our visits to Sunrise have ceased yet every time we pass the exit we both still sigh & think "shall we stop and visit dad" -- when will that cease?

Physician Heal Thy Self More

It's been three weeks since Dad passed over.  My energy is too low to concentrate or focus.  I'm experiencing discomfort points throughout my earthsuit: gurgles, pains, muscles cramping.  On reflection, taking a Soul across is tedious and strenuous work.  Clearly my body is not accustomed to the rigor and constant output of energy required while negotiating the journey for another Soul to return home. And then there's the grief of loss.  Clearly this is new to me.  

And then there's the pile of papers on my desk to finalize Arthur S. Goldberg's life.  Not anything I couldn't accomplish in 5-6 hours, if I get myself to my desk.The periodic exhaustion along with the "pains" I feel is demanding rest and isolation.   I know I am to cease exertion and rest.  As I see it, I'm pushing a huge rock up a hill only to have it roll back onto me after a few steps. Why bother... the pile will be there when I'm well nourished again mentally, physically and psychicly.  All is in divine order.

I recognize I can not do this alone.  I need my cosmic guides and earthly healers.  Healing one's self is a real awakening each time dis-ease occurs and this is no exception.

I realize I must recognize the pains, visual them in my body and honor them...they are the wisdom-keepers of my earthsuit, my protectors screaming out: "Renee--we demand your attention, we need you to take action, the pot is boiling too rapidly right now and the lid is about to blow off and break."  My Soul applauds. Cease.

I see my own rescitence to finish Dad's paperwork and feel the finality of my daughterly efforts on his behalf that I've done for the last five years with pleasure.  It will be no more. [Tears flood my eyes.]  My work is obviously needed elsewhere.  That time is to be freed up for other uses.

As I claim that I am Physician of the Soul, I release tentativeness and find myself forthcoming, speaking my truth to others. I have opened myself to criticism, being called weird (which my daughter has said for as long as I can remember -- broad smile on my face) and possibly losing a few friends, associates and family. But I can no longer deny I am drawn to support a dying body to release his/her Soul home in  a conscious, loving way.  I am one who mid-wife's the Soul back home.  I just am.  It is part of my ministry.  
 
So healing myself after taking Dad's Soul across is paramount right this minute.  Once well, I am clear my job is to make my earthsuit able to be in the presence of earthly death and Soul emergence without a personal hit.  Being strong emotionally and physically is vital.  To this I commit.  

In the meantime, I rest and recover. I nurse my body back to vibrant health with tinctures and supplements, praying over each dose and giving myself a few weeks to recalibrate my systems.  In honor of my human earthsuit, my divine being bows.  And as I let other people know Dr. Irene is available, I feel validated that I am doing my work, even while healing myself more...

Physician, heal thy self

First step of my healing is acknowledging that I am the unique and essential expression of Spirit, the Soul of "irene blanken singer goldberg" here incarnate to fulfill the purpose of my soul-divine human being.  Being a Physician of the Soul was ordained by my mentor/teacher Rebbi Gelberman...he saw it in me and brought it out of me as well.  And the soul works without borders, that is to say my earth suit, my body is one plane, yet there is a vast "unknown" consciousness that is always available for us journeyers.

I saw this first when I had an out of body experience, the day my car was totaled in 1972.  As the truck catapulted over the vehicle it broad-sided and headed toward my windshield, my body was thrown down on the seat while my spirit/soul was pulled to the side of the road.  Standing there with me was an angel who looked like my deceased father.  When the rumbling and glass flying ceased, I rose up and saw myself standing on the roadside and at that moment, I slipped back into my earth suit.  My life was never the same.  I knew I was not my earth suit.

My dad killed himself in 1971 and I had not "seen" him since, although I remember a sensation I had one winter evening as I walked to my car in the parking lot.  There was this sense of a warm cloak around my body, holding me, protecting me, walking with me.  It was a bliss-filled moment. I felt that no harm would come to me this evening.  Again my awareness of the metaphysical realm !

I became a student again, eager for validation of my experiences.  I felt a fire in my belly.  I watched my beloved infant daughter with new eyes.  She was so eager to know life...I followed her for clues.  From the time she spoke, she talked of her friend Cancles. Although imaginery to my ego's eyes, to my daughter she was real, and a great companion.  My mind broadened to include the real imagined Cancles.  We soon discovered Cancles was a surname used by several family members, a brother, grandfather and the girl.  And their dog, all at our dining table with us.  By the time my daughter was about seven, the Cancles tribe had become memory.  For an only child, she never lacked playmates... the first seven years with the Cancles crew and then a series of best girl friends. Today, that girl of mine still has a wonderful group of friends whom she loves and is loved by...she has taught me unconditional love and the magic of speaking her truth...bravo BEENS!  

It was during my mom's transition that the physician that I AM emerged.  I was at Seminary and loving the wisdom and knowledge that I studied daily and wanted to share with Mom.  She was afraid for me, spooked by some historical bub-e-monsa (fable) that you should not question your beliefs.  Yet it was like air for me to question, and exploring my beliefs was paramount to my discovering who I am.  I learned that our discussions would not include death, the completion of a life, or the soul's journey and purpose--areas of rich contemplation for me.  My curiosity to know my mother's journey made me discover new ways to communicate with her, silent conversations with what seemed her higher self.  I had plenty of time to do that at moments when we visited, again a new vista appeared...life beyond the confines of the conscious mind.  But my mother's distrust and concerns for me overshadowed her ability to take joy in my becoming Reverend Irene.  She made it quite clear she was disappointed that I would not be Rabbi Irene.  So be it.  

As her body continued to fail her, I felt the Angel of Death in her apartment.  I felt Sai Maa and Master Jesus present.  Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Ariel-- all around my mom's room.  I knew her soul was aware as her body/ego worked on separation.  My role was to assist her crossing over. My guides did just that, guided me to stand in witness for my mother's soul, speak the Sh'ma Israel prayer for this Jewish woman to remember her tether to God/Truth/Spirit/Source.  I watched her go in and out of this earthly plane to the spirit plane over those last weeks as she prepared for re-birth back to universal consciousness.  I watched as fear gripped her, then released from her over and over again. She trained me as minister and strengthened the Physician of the Soul that I am and was destined to become.  

When Mom went silent the last few days in her human .earth suit, I sat in silence with her, watching as she moved easily in and out of life as we think it is into the realm of spirit.  I felt a grace and harmony I had never known.  Mom would occasional open her eyes and say my name...bliss fell over me each time.  And on her final day, as her breath became gasps, our farewells complete, I said my goodbyes and last kiss given, I knew she would be forever departed from her beautiful earth suit within hours.  My guides guided me to leave as my older brother and younger sister argued in the kitchen.  All was in divine order.


I had wished beyond hope that my mom would have been comfortable with my being an interfaith modern minister, not a rabbi.  But she passed without that.  However, Spirit again was training me and two weeks later I was sitting in meditation before my guru, Sai Maa, in
Colorado.  My mother appeared, beautiful, radiant, glowing, breathless...she said, "Renee forgive me for I was afraid for you, I didn't know and I didn't trust.  You are perfect.  You are doing what you were meant to do.  I love you." I sobbed and sobbed.  Glory be.  A great healing for us both.  One in SPIRIT and one in her Earth suit--nonetheless, both complete and in oneness with the cosmos.  My journey as mid-wife to those passing had begun.