It's been three weeks since Dad passed over. My energy is too low to concentrate or focus. I'm experiencing discomfort points throughout my earthsuit: gurgles, pains, muscles cramping. On reflection, taking a Soul across is tedious and strenuous work. Clearly my body is not accustomed to the rigor and constant output of energy required while negotiating the journey for another Soul to return home. And then there's the grief of loss. Clearly this is new to me.
And then there's the pile of papers on my desk to finalize Arthur S. Goldberg's life. Not anything I couldn't accomplish in 5-6 hours, if I get myself to my desk.The periodic exhaustion along with the "pains" I feel is demanding rest and isolation. I know I am to cease exertion and rest. As I see it, I'm pushing a huge rock up a hill only to have it roll back onto me after a few steps. Why bother... the pile will be there when I'm well nourished again mentally, physically and psychicly. All is in divine order.
I recognize I can not do this alone. I need my cosmic guides and earthly healers. Healing one's self is a real awakening each time dis-ease occurs and this is no exception.
I realize I must recognize the pains, visual them in my body and honor them...they are the wisdom-keepers of my earthsuit, my protectors screaming out: "Renee--we demand your attention, we need you to take action, the pot is boiling too rapidly right now and the lid is about to blow off and break." My Soul applauds. Cease.
I see my own rescitence to finish Dad's paperwork and feel the finality of my daughterly efforts on his behalf that I've done for the last five years with pleasure. It will be no more. [Tears flood my eyes.] My work is obviously needed elsewhere. That time is to be freed up for other uses.
As I claim that I am Physician of the Soul, I release tentativeness and find myself forthcoming, speaking my truth to others. I have opened myself to criticism, being called weird (which my daughter has said for as long as I can remember -- broad smile on my face) and possibly losing a few friends, associates and family. But I can no longer deny I am drawn to support a dying body to release his/her Soul home in a conscious, loving way. I am one who mid-wife's the Soul back home. I just am. It is part of my ministry.
So healing myself after taking Dad's Soul across is paramount right this minute. Once well, I am clear my job is to make my earthsuit able to be in the presence of earthly death and Soul emergence without a personal hit. Being strong emotionally and physically is vital. To this I commit.
In the meantime, I rest and recover. I nurse my body back to vibrant health with tinctures and supplements, praying over each dose and giving myself a few weeks to recalibrate my systems. In honor of my human earthsuit, my divine being bows. And as I let other people know Dr. Irene is available, I feel validated that I am doing my work, even while healing myself more...
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Physician, heal thy self
First step of my healing is acknowledging that I am the unique and essential expression of Spirit, the Soul of "irene blanken singer goldberg" here incarnate to fulfill the purpose of my soul-divine human being. Being a Physician of the Soul was ordained by my mentor/teacher Rebbi Gelberman...he saw it in me and brought it out of me as well. And the soul works without borders, that is to say my earth suit, my body is one plane, yet there is a vast "unknown" consciousness that is always available for us journeyers.
I saw this first when I had an out of body experience, the day my car was totaled in 1972. As the truck catapulted over the vehicle it broad-sided and headed toward my windshield, my body was thrown down on the seat while my spirit/soul was pulled to the side of the road. Standing there with me was an angel who looked like my deceased father. When the rumbling and glass flying ceased, I rose up and saw myself standing on the roadside and at that moment, I slipped back into my earth suit. My life was never the same. I knew I was not my earth suit.
My dad killed himself in 1971 and I had not "seen" him since, although I remember a sensation I had one winter evening as I walked to my car in the parking lot. There was this sense of a warm cloak around my body, holding me, protecting me, walking with me. It was a bliss-filled moment. I felt that no harm would come to me this evening. Again my awareness of the metaphysical realm !
I became a student again, eager for validation of my experiences. I felt a fire in my belly. I watched my beloved infant daughter with new eyes. She was so eager to know life...I followed her for clues. From the time she spoke, she talked of her friend Cancles. Although imaginery to my ego's eyes, to my daughter she was real, and a great companion. My mind broadened to include the real imagined Cancles. We soon discovered Cancles was a surname used by several family members, a brother, grandfather and the girl. And their dog, all at our dining table with us. By the time my daughter was about seven, the Cancles tribe had become memory. For an only child, she never lacked playmates... the first seven years with the Cancles crew and then a series of best girl friends. Today, that girl of mine still has a wonderful group of friends whom she loves and is loved by...she has taught me unconditional love and the magic of speaking her truth...bravo BEENS!
It was during my mom's transition that the physician that I AM emerged. I was at Seminary and loving the wisdom and knowledge that I studied daily and wanted to share with Mom. She was afraid for me, spooked by some historical bub-e-monsa (fable) that you should not question your beliefs. Yet it was like air for me to question, and exploring my beliefs was paramount to my discovering who I am. I learned that our discussions would not include death, the completion of a life, or the soul's journey and purpose--areas of rich contemplation for me. My curiosity to know my mother's journey made me discover new ways to communicate with her, silent conversations with what seemed her higher self. I had plenty of time to do that at moments when we visited, again a new vista appeared...life beyond the confines of the conscious mind. But my mother's distrust and concerns for me overshadowed her ability to take joy in my becoming Reverend Irene. She made it quite clear she was disappointed that I would not be Rabbi Irene. So be it.
As her body continued to fail her, I felt the Angel of Death in her apartment. I felt Sai Maa and Master Jesus present. Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Ariel-- all around my mom's room. I knew her soul was aware as her body/ego worked on separation. My role was to assist her crossing over. My guides did just that, guided me to stand in witness for my mother's soul, speak the Sh'ma Israel prayer for this Jewish woman to remember her tether to God/Truth/Spirit/Source. I watched her go in and out of this earthly plane to the spirit plane over those last weeks as she prepared for re-birth back to universal consciousness. I watched as fear gripped her, then released from her over and over again. She trained me as minister and strengthened the Physician of the Soul that I am and was destined to become.
When Mom went silent the last few days in her human .earth suit, I sat in silence with her, watching as she moved easily in and out of life as we think it is into the realm of spirit. I felt a grace and harmony I had never known. Mom would occasional open her eyes and say my name...bliss fell over me each time. And on her final day, as her breath became gasps, our farewells complete, I said my goodbyes and last kiss given, I knew she would be forever departed from her beautiful earth suit within hours. My guides guided me to leave as my older brother and younger sister argued in the kitchen. All was in divine order.
I had wished beyond hope that my mom would have been comfortable with my being an interfaith modern minister, not a rabbi. But she passed without that. However, Spirit again was training me and two weeks later I was sitting in meditation before my guru, Sai Maa, in
Colorado. My mother appeared, beautiful, radiant, glowing, breathless...she said, "Renee forgive me for I was afraid for you, I didn't know and I didn't trust. You are perfect. You are doing what you were meant to do. I love you." I sobbed and sobbed. Glory be. A great healing for us both. One in SPIRIT and one in her Earth suit--nonetheless, both complete and in oneness with the cosmos. My journey as mid-wife to those passing had begun.
I saw this first when I had an out of body experience, the day my car was totaled in 1972. As the truck catapulted over the vehicle it broad-sided and headed toward my windshield, my body was thrown down on the seat while my spirit/soul was pulled to the side of the road. Standing there with me was an angel who looked like my deceased father. When the rumbling and glass flying ceased, I rose up and saw myself standing on the roadside and at that moment, I slipped back into my earth suit. My life was never the same. I knew I was not my earth suit.
My dad killed himself in 1971 and I had not "seen" him since, although I remember a sensation I had one winter evening as I walked to my car in the parking lot. There was this sense of a warm cloak around my body, holding me, protecting me, walking with me. It was a bliss-filled moment. I felt that no harm would come to me this evening. Again my awareness of the metaphysical realm !
I became a student again, eager for validation of my experiences. I felt a fire in my belly. I watched my beloved infant daughter with new eyes. She was so eager to know life...I followed her for clues. From the time she spoke, she talked of her friend Cancles. Although imaginery to my ego's eyes, to my daughter she was real, and a great companion. My mind broadened to include the real imagined Cancles. We soon discovered Cancles was a surname used by several family members, a brother, grandfather and the girl. And their dog, all at our dining table with us. By the time my daughter was about seven, the Cancles tribe had become memory. For an only child, she never lacked playmates... the first seven years with the Cancles crew and then a series of best girl friends. Today, that girl of mine still has a wonderful group of friends whom she loves and is loved by...she has taught me unconditional love and the magic of speaking her truth...bravo BEENS!
It was during my mom's transition that the physician that I AM emerged. I was at Seminary and loving the wisdom and knowledge that I studied daily and wanted to share with Mom. She was afraid for me, spooked by some historical bub-e-monsa (fable) that you should not question your beliefs. Yet it was like air for me to question, and exploring my beliefs was paramount to my discovering who I am. I learned that our discussions would not include death, the completion of a life, or the soul's journey and purpose--areas of rich contemplation for me. My curiosity to know my mother's journey made me discover new ways to communicate with her, silent conversations with what seemed her higher self. I had plenty of time to do that at moments when we visited, again a new vista appeared...life beyond the confines of the conscious mind. But my mother's distrust and concerns for me overshadowed her ability to take joy in my becoming Reverend Irene. She made it quite clear she was disappointed that I would not be Rabbi Irene. So be it.
As her body continued to fail her, I felt the Angel of Death in her apartment. I felt Sai Maa and Master Jesus present. Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Ariel-- all around my mom's room. I knew her soul was aware as her body/ego worked on separation. My role was to assist her crossing over. My guides did just that, guided me to stand in witness for my mother's soul, speak the Sh'ma Israel prayer for this Jewish woman to remember her tether to God/Truth/Spirit/Source. I watched her go in and out of this earthly plane to the spirit plane over those last weeks as she prepared for re-birth back to universal consciousness. I watched as fear gripped her, then released from her over and over again. She trained me as minister and strengthened the Physician of the Soul that I am and was destined to become.
When Mom went silent the last few days in her human .earth suit, I sat in silence with her, watching as she moved easily in and out of life as we think it is into the realm of spirit. I felt a grace and harmony I had never known. Mom would occasional open her eyes and say my name...bliss fell over me each time. And on her final day, as her breath became gasps, our farewells complete, I said my goodbyes and last kiss given, I knew she would be forever departed from her beautiful earth suit within hours. My guides guided me to leave as my older brother and younger sister argued in the kitchen. All was in divine order.
I had wished beyond hope that my mom would have been comfortable with my being an interfaith modern minister, not a rabbi. But she passed without that. However, Spirit again was training me and two weeks later I was sitting in meditation before my guru, Sai Maa, in
Colorado. My mother appeared, beautiful, radiant, glowing, breathless...she said, "Renee forgive me for I was afraid for you, I didn't know and I didn't trust. You are perfect. You are doing what you were meant to do. I love you." I sobbed and sobbed. Glory be. A great healing for us both. One in SPIRIT and one in her Earth suit--nonetheless, both complete and in oneness with the cosmos. My journey as mid-wife to those passing had begun.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Being a Physician of the Soul
In May 2006, my mother passed over after her 18-month battle with stage 4 cancer. It was two months before my ordination as Modern Minister, an interfaith minister, from All Faiths Seminary International (AFSI). I had found my way to AFSI through my devotion to Her Holiness Sai Maa Lakshmi Devi (SaiMaaLLC.org). At an event in the summer of 2005, Sai Maa, Rabbi Dr. Joseph H. Gelberman (allfaithseminary.org)--we called him . Rebbe, and Marianne Williamson, author and peace activist, had a metaphysical conversation together in New York City. I brought my husband, Stephen, and friend Joanne. Rebbe was checking the site out when I spotted him in the empty theater hours before the "SHOW". It was at that moment of meeting I knew he was to become my teacher, mentor, and co-facilitator of programs we did together from 2006-2008 while I completed my doctorate at his seminary. Rebbe founded and presided over the scope of studies for modern ministers at AFSI as well as The New Seminary, and the Academy of Physicians of the Soul.
In 2007, Sai Maa and Rebbe certified me and ten others the title: Physicians of the Soul. The following year I received my Doctorate, 2008.
I see now I was a meta-physician of the soul long before actually being designated Physician of the Soul back in 2007.
In 2007, Sai Maa and Rebbe certified me and ten others the title: Physicians of the Soul. The following year I received my Doctorate, 2008.
I see now I was a meta-physician of the soul long before actually being designated Physician of the Soul back in 2007.
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